I have been
smoke-free for 6 ½ years. I started smoking when I was 14 (eek!). I had just lost my mother a few months
earlier and I was dealing with it the best way a teenager could. One day some classmates of mine offered me a
smoke because according to them, I seemed “stressed”. I took a drag of the cigarette, coughed, gave
it back, and decided smoking was not for me.
However, somewhere along the line smoking became a part of my life and
stayed in my life for the next 15 years.
There were
moments when I wanted to quit, but it was never the right time. Each time I attempted, another stressful
situation emerged. Sickness. Family
deaths. Job and money loss. There was
always SOMETHING. So the habit just
continued.
Fast-forward to
2006. I was 29 and starting my first
year of law school. I still had this desire to quit smoking. I did not want to turn 30 and still be a smoker.
Yet, there was no way I could quit smoking
while being in this pressure cooker for three years. Before law school, I was smoking a half pack
of cigarettes a day. During my first
semester, I crept up to nearly a pack a day.
With an increased usage, how could I quit at this point?
During
the break before my second semester, my church offered a smoking cessation seminar. Of course, I would try it. There were about six of us in the seminar. We met once a week for about 5 weeks. During the first meeting, we were given
information on the health risks and consequences of smoking. We also talked to each other about our struggles
with dropping the habit. We also stated
the date we would quit smoking. I picked
January 8, 2007.
On
January 7th, I threw away my cigarettes, excited that I would take the step to
quit. The next day, I woke up and went about my
day. Around 9:30am, I was a little
antsy. By 1pm, I had a cigarette in my hand. I was so disappointed in myself, but I kept
smoking anyway.
Then
something happened. On January 10th, I
was standing in a parking lot looking at the Academy, and I realized that my
life matters and I deserved to live a healthy life. The same cigarettes I smoked to help relieve
stress was slowly killing me and preventing me from living this desired healthy
life. That turning point gave me the
strength and courage to throw away the cigarettes.
What
is hurting you? What is stopping you
from living the life that you deserve to have?
It is difficult to take the first step, but that first step is liberating.
Each step you take moves you closer in
the direction you want to be. Please
know that when we try to better our lives, there is going to be resistance, and
there will be moments when we want to step back, because it is easy and
familiar. Were there times when I thought about a
cigarette when I was going through something stressful? Of course! Then, I began to think about how good I felt
and how much more I was able to do because 1) I could breathe and 2) I was not
dependent on cigarettes to get me through the stressful times in life. This outweighed
my desire to smoke.
Therefore,
I encourage you to take the first step on the path to freedom. While it may be difficult, I believe it is
worth it.
See
you next time.
